Choices
by Megara79
Summary: Honesty has it's consequences... Written for VAMBs Guess the Pairing 2015. Set post-Endgame.


**Title: Choices**

**Author: Megara79**

**Series: Star Trek: Voyager**

**Rating: M**

**Summary: Honesty has it's consequences... Set post Endgame.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Thanks to: Ewigestudentin, for lending a beta eye.**

**A/N: Written for VAMBs Guess The Pairing 2015. **

She shivers involuntarily.

She's never been afraid of this man, but she can feel the fury radiating from him as he stalks back and forth in response to the words she's spoken. He has every right to be angry. The look he's levelling in her direction is nothing short of chilling and she can easily envision what his life must have been like before his path intertwined with hers. What kind of man he once was.

A soldier.

A leader.

A warrior.

Lethal.

He is still all of those things. But he's made a certain kind of peace with his past and he has sanded down his sharpened edges. And she knows he's done it for her. As she warily watches him from the other side of the room she wonders if maybe he's played her. That the gentler man she knows and trusts has been a disguise and that his fury has lurked around them both from the start.

Maybe _this_ is who he really is.

Maybe she's seen what she wanted to see.

Maybe she's made a mistake.

She's told him something she never thought she'd say and it's stripped them bare. She thinks that maybe she shouldn't have said anything at all. Just kept her mouth shut and let the dice fall where it may. Her words have thrown him into turmoil, forcing him to question his choices. She's created a fork in his road and he needs to choose which direction to follow.

Where does he want to go?

Who does he want to be with?

What is his life going to be?

The way he circles back and forth reminds her of a predator. He's light on his feet, but his muscles move underneath his clothing and tells of strength and prowess. They tense and tighten and she knows it's only a matter of time before he snaps. She wonders what they really look like underneath his uniform. She wonders if the woman he's with already knows. She balls her hands into fists like him and the skin stretching over her knuckles turn white. He continues his prowl in front of the door and she remains at a safe distance.

Safe from him?

Or safe from herself?

"Why now?"

His voice is low and dangerous. She doesn't know what to say. She has always been a master of self-deception. It's been a gift and a curse, but it's served her well the years they've been missing. Yet when she finally decides to shed the image she's created, she wonders if she likes what she sees. She wonders if _he_ likes what he sees. No, she decides, amending stray thoughts from earlier. It isn't he who has played her. She's been the actor in their relationship.

No wonder he's angry.

"I couldn't keep lying to myself," she finally admits. She thinks that it's the most honest thing she's ever said to him. "And you deserved to know."

He moves from his place by the door so suddenly she has little time to react. Her back connects with the bulkhead and it nearly knocks the wind from her. His hands are no longer in fists but moving roughly over her arms and shoulders, skimming along her neck before capturing her face.

The kiss is hard and unyielding and just as unexpected as his move from the door. His lips are insistent and before her mind has caught up with what's happening, her body responds and welcomes his touch. His hold on her is firm, his hands anchoring her to him. He's not letting her go and she thinks it's a blessing she hardly deserves.

This is what's meant to be.

This is what's always been.

This is what saves them both.

She grabs a fistful of hair and pulls him as close as she can. The bulkhead is cool behind her back, the thrum of the ship reverberating through her. She parts her lips and he deepens the kiss. She's somewhat unsure of how it happens, but their uniforms disappear in haste and with purpose. He utters her name in a guttural growl. She will never let him go after this and when he pushes away her pants and underwear, lifting her up with the aid of the ship the both serve, she thinks he may feel the same. Her legs wrap around him and his length pushes into her.

The intrusion makes her gasp and he momentarily stills.

She can't help the puffs of air that escapes her in rapid succession. His eyes find hers and his gaze is steady. The anger is still there, but something else shimmers beneath it. He pulls back, keeping his eyes on hers before connecting with her once again and she gasps anew. She nearly swats at him when she sees his lips quirk upward. He repeats the action and the thought is forgotten. Every movement he makes is deliberate and she feels the stirring of heat deep within her. She urges him on and stops caring about the noises she makes.

He picks up the pace and his movements become somewhat erratic. His hands on her hips are going to cause her skin to bruise and her back will ache from the position, but she can't find it within herself to care. He never stops looking at her, pleasure and pain coming off him in equal measures and she draws him to her and kisses him. She thinks that he may reach the edge before her. She barely manages to finish her train of thought when he changes his position ever so slightly. He hits his mark with eerie precision and her world explodes without preamble. He swallows her cry, before yelling out as he comes too. She feels it all, every single pulsating touch and movement, and she orgasms again.

She never should have lied.

Not to herself and not to him.

She should have told him sooner.

He doesn't move. He uses his form and the bulkhead to keep her where she is and his hands find her face yet again. He kisses her once. Twice. Gentler this time. And then he pulls away. The anger still hasn't completely left him. She can see it hovering under the surface. But she can also see that he's reigning it in. That he's sanding those sharpened edges yet again and that he's chosen which direction to go.

Which path that is his.

He chooses to be with her.

He will always choose her.

And when he finally speaks again, a response to the words that started this, the anger is gone and she knows he means it with everything he is.

"I love you too."


End file.
